jornal entries
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3/24/25 I’ve been forgetting things more than usual, and I don’t think it’s old age I think it’s the lack of routine. I feel off, tense, and, honestly, afraid. Afraid for my friends, for my family.I’m not from here, and good people—regular, hardworking people with families are getting deported. I no longer hold a green card, but I see how some people lack empathy for those seeking asylum or simply a better life.Today wasn’t the best for me. On my way to work, I saw a girl crying on the bus. I got up before her, stood in front of her to be discreet and told her, It’s going to be okay. I’m going to be ok. Now I’m on the train, writing my thoughts holding back tears like heavy bags of water in my arms. I wonder how much longer I can carry them before they burst. I am not from here, but today, something small brought me back home. My friends and I talked about it through text TIME TRAVEL! how one piece of sugarcane, one bite of that sweetness, gave me a moment of life, of nostalgia, of time travel. For two minutes, that simple treat took me back to my island. My coworker will never know much that helped me today..
3/19/25 note I rather be wrong than unwilling I rather be in a conversation where I think I’m resolving a conflict but I find out that I’m wrong. I rather be wrong because at least I made space for that conversation. I made space for a learning experience. I made space to hear someone out. I made space for growth. I made space to hold myself accountable. Unwillingness is just conflict avoidance (inspired by a vid i saw idk)
2/20/25 notes So, I got into an accident recently, which meant relying on public transportation to get around. At first, I was really frustrated with myself angry, even. But then, I decided to shift my perspective. Instead of dwelling on the inconvenience, I started asking myself: What can I learn from this experience? Every day, I’ve been taking a two-hour bus ride home from work, and strangely enough, time seems to be flying by. It got me thinking—what even is time? One random search led to another, and before I knew it, I was diving into the origins of time itself, questioning who (or what) created it. Somehow, I even ended up tangled in the mysteries of physics, like little cracks forming in my brain, letting in all these bizarre but fascinating ideas. Funny how a simple change in routine can shift your whole perspective.
11/2/24 notes to my partner Green---Are you leading me somewhere unknown, pulling me into a journey I can’t yet see? I’ve been sitting still, listening closely,letting the quiet shape my understanding. I want to be here fully even if the road twists, even if it breaks. If I hold your hand too tight, would you feel the weight of my trust? Would you let me stay? Don’t place your heart in my hands if you still doubt the grip of my fingers.But if you do—know this.I will cradle it as if it were my own.You said it was heavy, that it ached in the cold.Don’t worry, traveler, I have warmth to share,pockets full of soft things to line the hollow spaces you carry.I hope we move at a pace that feels like breathing.I hope this frozen ground thaws beneath us.Either way, I want to root myself here,watch you bloom beside me,watch the fire between us flicker,steady, unwavering, as we sip tea and smile.Because we will be fine. I don’t just care for this journey I may love it.Would that be alright with you?